Christmas in the Castle
by KatanaDoshi
Summary: It isn't their first christmas together. It is the first to feature the Muppets, though and apparently that makes all the difference. CRACK
1. Chapter 1

A Christmas In the Castle

Summary: It isn't their first christmas together. It is the first to feature the Muppets, though and apparently that makes all the difference.

A/N: What it says on the tin really, inspired by and dedicated to Sanyu Darkstarr who is unusually patient for an RP partner (I haven't posted in like... months). Incredibly short chapters because... my brain doesn't work and I don't have any energy. This is me in winter everyone. Sorry.

Warnings: Mild language.

Spoilers: everything up to, but not including, season 3 and the previous Owen one-shots.

* * *

_On The First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me..._

"What is that?" David Xanatos asked when it became apparent - after several long minutes of staring - that Owen was not going to save him the indignity of asking. Beside him the blond man shrugged.

"It appears to be a bird sir."

"A bird," Xanatos repeated unnecessarily. Owen nodded.

"In a small potted tree," the blond continued, pushing his glasses up his nose with a knuckle. Xanatos nodded as though this made perfect sense and continued past the poultry/Pyrus Communis combo sitting in the middle of the great hall.

"As I was saying, we need to sell our shares in Soylent Corp. before the news of the main ingredient in their newest affordable snack hits the media."

"Of course, sir."

* * *

A/N: Pyrus Communis= Dwarf Pear Tree


	2. Chapter 2

_On The Second Day of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me..._

"What are they?" Angela had managed to catch one of the snowy white creatures while Broadway and Brooklyn frantically waved their arms around and generally terrified the other one into flying to the highest bookshelves in the library. Lexington peered curiously at the little animal and it cooed at him reproachfully.

"Looks like some kind of a bird."

"I could tell that much," Angela said wryly. Lexington shrugged at her. "I meant, what do you think they're doing up here?" To that point the only birds Angela had seen in New York had been in pet shops. Or pigeons. The female shuddered a little. She hated pigeons.

"Gotcha!" In the corner, Brooklyn had managed, by way of sitting on Broadway's shoulders, to trap the other bird safely between his hands.

"Great," Broadway huffed below him, wobbling under the weight of the other gargoyle. "N-now get down."

As it became apparent that the only way the red gargoyle was getting down was if the pair toppled over, Lexington valiantly gathered up the two doves - who seemed much happier together than apart - and retreated to a safe distance.

"Lets go release them in the park," the little gargoyle suggested, watching the birds coo at each other. Angela smiled.

"We'll make a trip of it. Broadway! Why don't we pack a-" The loud crash of two gargoyles slamming into a bookshelf and toppling its contents cut her off. "We should probably clean up a bit before we go."

"Probably," Lexington nodded as his rookery brothers tried, fairly unsuccessfully, to extract themselves from the pile of books. "I'll go find a basket or something for these two."

"And I'll..." Angela waved her hand vaguely in the direction of the mess gargoyles and books. "Right."


	3. Chapter 3

_On The Third Day of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me..._

"Xanatos!" David knew the tone and the voice well and spent a quiet moment wondering just exactly what it was that he'd done to upset the detective this time. When no answer was immediately forth coming he spent another, longer moment, to recount all the morally questionable things he'd done in the last month.

The list was quite long but he couldn't see Detective Maza knowing or caring about most of the incidents.

"How can I help you tonight detective?" David plastered a pleasant, if overly fake, smile on his face and left the comfort of his living room to meet the young woman in the hall.

"You know you have some sort of bird infestation in the great hall, right?" Xanatos's fake smile became a real look of bemusement.

"I beg your pardon detective. Bird infestation?" it was rare that one caught David Xanatos off guard and Elisa decided to enjoy the moment while it lasted.

"Bird infestation," Elisa confirmed with a nod. David stared at her. "They seem to be some kind of chicken."

There was another, longer moment of staring and suddenly Xanatos was sweeping past her, out toward the great hall.

Elisa had more interesting things to do than watch Xanatos lose it over a couple of chickens wandering the halls of his castle but since those things wouldn't be nearly as amusing, she followed and tried to suppress the premature grin creeping out over her face.

"Right," it wasn't as dramatic as she may have hoped but the lost look on David's face as he watched the three chickens squawk and flap and peck at his stone floor was pretty funny so Elisa didn't count it as a loss.

"If you're decorating for christmas, might I suggest using props instead of the live animals? Angela and Broadway said they had a heck of a time catching those doves."

"Doves," Xanatos repeated flatly. He didn't look any less lost but now he also seemed a little grossed out. Probably had to do with the growing number of white and brown splat on the floor.

"Doves," Elisa nodded, trying very hard not to grin. "And by the elevator you know there's a-"

"Partridge in a pear tree, yes. Thank you detective for bringing this to my attention. I'll just..." the man paused, looking around for a moment before pulling his phone out of his pocket. "I'll just call somebody."

* * *

A/N: Remember that time I totally said I wasn't going to do this again after Fatally Yours? ( the multi-chapter holiday thing, obviously) Well apparently I lied.


	4. Chapter 4

_On The Fourth Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me..._

His library was a madhouse.

David watched his wife dart out from the safety of the doorway to a far shelf, snatch the book she'd decided she couldn't survive without reading that very day and flee from the room with book held high to protect her head.

In the corner, Lexington was balancing on Brooklyn's shoulders - Broadway apparently having vowed that he would never again lift one of his brothers aloft - and was trying to coax a mated pair of turtle doves out from the gap in a bookshelf they'd claimed as a nest.

In front of him Angela and Broadway were attempting to corral three french hens while Bronx was attempting to scare them into flight. Or eat them; it was hard to tell.

Goliath was valiantly trying to read Tolstoy on a stool but was having a hard time of it with the chickens occasionally claiming his lap as a sanctuary.

David wasn't sure how the pear tree had gotten there having previously been by the library and, more importantly, having been thrown out just the day before. But there it was, stubbornly sitting dead center in the middle of the room and refusing to be knocked over by errant gargoyles and chickens.

The worst of it was the noise. The unholy racket of the swooping, _screaming_ birds that refused to settle. It was really no surprise that Hudson had decided to take an extended vacation and visit his blind friend.

"Alright," David said flatly, turning to the blond at his side. Owen was watching the chaos with a blank expression but only because doubling over in laughter would have been too out of character to allow, even in the face of this lunacy. "I think this little holiday gag has gone on long enough, don't you?"

"I agree completely," Owen turned to his employer with a nod and the two stared at each other expectantly for a long moment.

"Well?" David crossed his arms over his chest because putting his hands on his hips and tapping his foot impatiently would have been too undignified. Owen's expression shifted from very mild surprise to a frown.

"I can assure you sir," the blond said stiffly, apparently offended as he pushed up his glasses. "No part of me has had anything to do with any part of this."

"You're sure?" David asked, deflated. Owen nodded. "Well then what's going on?"

"I can't be certain, sir," the blond looked at the chaos once again, just in time to see Bronx knock Brooklyn's legs out from underneath him in pursuit of a chicken.

"A guess then. An estimation. A wild stab in the dark, Owen. Anything," David said a little more desperately than he'd meant to. Owen looked around again and shrugged.

"God's plague?" he suggested innocently enough for David to get the sarcasm.

"Owen!" the scolding was cut short as David Xanatos, billionaire father of one, reformed villain with a heart of silver (because gold is not his color and he most certainly would never want to be that good anyways) took a low flying calling bird to the face.


	5. Chapter 5

_On The Fifth Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me..._

"David."

Xanatos rolled over in his sleep, pressing his face against a cooler part of his pillow.

"David."

He snuffled softly because he was too dignified to do something like snore, even in his sleep, and continued dreaming about whatever it was reformed bad men dreamed about.

"DAVID."

It was hard to sleep through getting cracked in the face with a pillow, particularly when said pillow is wielded by a martial arts expert that doesn't much care for "gentle" even when the target of her skills is her own husband.

"What? What? I'm awake," David sat up and looked at his bedside clock. It was generally agreed that the humans of the castle - having usually been up at a completely unreasonable hour to accommodate the nocturnal inhabitants - woke no earlier than seven-thirty am baring an emergency.

It was six forty-five according to the dimmed glow of the clock.

"Look," Fox silently held her left hand in front of his face and David had a hard time focusing his eyes enough to see any detail beyond the fact that her fingers looked bizarrely lumpy.

Rings.

Fox didn't typically wear jewelry if she wasn't going out as The Billionaire's Wife and even then she only liked to wear ridiculously expensive pieces or ones that she'd stolen personally.

But now five relatively understated gold rings sat charmingly on her long slim fingers when David hadn't even been able to convince her to wear a single wedding band.

Outside the bedroom door there was a loud squawk followed by a flurry of movement and noise as the calling birds and hens went to war.

Fox stared expectantly at her husband who decided there was but one thing he could do.

David fell back onto his bed and yanked his pillow over his head, vowing to deal with it all later.


	6. Chapter 6

_On The Sixth Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me..._

"No more birds," Lex, looking traumatized, had his head in his hands. "Please. No more birds."

Owen agreed with the sentiment entirely and very much wanted to put his head in his hands himself. Unable to do so since it was not in his character - but mostly because it just wasn't the same when you only had one hand to rest your head in - the blond gently patted the small gargoyle on the shoulder in the only gesture of comfort Owen felt capable of giving.

Unsurprisingly, Lexington sobbed a little and Owen felt duty-bound to do more patting.

"Xanatos will think of something," Goliath soothed, or at least tried to while giving David a hard look. "Won't you?"

"I don't even know what this is!" The dark man snapped, actually pulling at his hair. "Owen says he isn't doing it-"

"I'm not," Owen narrowed his eyes at his employer darkly, apparently quite through with being asked if he was absolutely _sure_ none of him was involved.

"And neither Demona nor McBeth are the Christmas gag type," David straightened and glared at the large gargoyle in front of him. "I don't know what you expect me to do!"

"There's no other magic folk that'd be wanting to cause ye grief?" Hudson asked, having returned far too soon and already planning a second, longer, visit.

"Oberon got what he wanted," Angela eyed the single-file line of geese as they waddled to the door, made a ninety degree turn and settled in the middle of the floor. "Besides, why would he do all this?"

"Ok, we finished counting," Broadway stepped lightly over the chicken standing in the doorway and looked sadly at the waiting faces.

"And?" Owen prompted after a moment too long. Brooklyn stomped in behind, far less careful of the hen who nipped his heel in retaliation for not giving her enough space.

"And we're going to be eating eggs from now until we die," the red gargoyle said flatly. This news was not unexpected but it made Lexington drop his head to his knees.

"That's it," Fox walked into the common room holding an AK 47 with a calling bird trailing behind her. That got everyone's attention. David found himself wondering what she'd done with the rings. "I'm killing them all. I hope you all like poultry."

"Fox, wait," David wasn't so foolish as to step in between the gun and one of the birds but he did step beside his wife and put a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Is this really necessary?"

"You can't kill them!" Angela had taken a liking to the doves. They all had really. It was everything else they couldn't stand.

"It is," Fox said decisively to David before turning to the young female gargoyle. "I can and I will. They're invading my home and I'm not about to-"

"Fox have you spoken to your mother lately?" the non-sequitor was enough of a distraction for Owen to take the gun from the redhead's suddenly loose grip.

"Have I- what? No. Why would I talk to her?"

"It's just... well," David gestured at the six geese and three hens making themselves at home on the floor and then at the three calling birds (he assumed that Fox had already done away with the fourth) tangling themselves in the drapes.

"My mother doesn't even celebrate Christmas. She never has. Why would she do this?" Fox was just angry enough over being disarmed to hanging onto that thought like a dog worrying at a bone.

David was saved from being made to answer when two certain detectives arrived, one of them laughing quietly behind her deceptively dainty looking hand.

"Hey," Matt didn't take notice of the wildly littering the floor and draperies at first. "You realize you have a bird in a potted plant... down... the..." The detective trailed off as he surveyed the room. His answer, though he probably cared less about it having spotted the hens and geese apparently competing in an egg laying contest, came in a booming choir of voices.

"WE KNOW!"


	7. Chapter 7

_On The Seventh Day of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me..._

The scream, once it registered as an actual shriek of terror from a human throat and not just the calling birds getting enthusiastic over something, sent David and Owen running.

Sound didn't travel as well in the castle as one would think with the high ceilings but that helped to narrow down where the screams - yes, more now, from the same throat - were coming from.

The two men burst into the master bedroom and Fox, clad only in a dressing gown flung herself into her husband's arms.

"In the tub," she gasped, voice hoarse. Owen went without being asked, holding his fists up ready to defend his master and lady. "In the tub; David I didn't see them but they were there and one bit me," the redhead was babbling in shock. Owen peeked around the doorway into the bathroom and was greeted with a loud enthusiastic honk.

The blond straightened, stared for a moment, and closed the door.

"Owen?" Xanatos asked cautiously. In his arms his wife trembled and at the door his best friend solemnly took a key from the nearest side table drawer and locked the bathroom door.

"I'll have the Princess Chambers ready for you," Owen said calmly. Behind him there was more honking and a splash from the bathroom and Fox let out a small sob. "Please," the blond's usually bland expression became one of concern. "Don't tell Lexington," there was another round of honking and Owen visibly flinched. "I don't think he could take the news."

The blond left David to comfort his shaken wife but that was less kind of him, in David's opinion, and more cowardly.

"I can't do this, David. I can't take this anymore," Fox sobbed into his chest. "I can't raise my son in a castle full of fowl. We have to move. Please David, we have to-"

A flock of calling birds four strong flew through the slightly ajar door and Fox took the opportunity to go back to screaming.


	8. Chapter 8

_On The Eighth Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me..._

"What do you mean the meter maids are milking around the outside the building?" David shouted into his phone. There was a jumble of noise on the other end but the billionaire was disinclined to simply go to the lower floors of the building to see what was going on himself. "Milking what? There aren't even any cows in Manhattan!"

Behind him there was a flurry of honking and squealing and squawking. The birds had apparently learned how much Fox and Lexington disliked them and were now orchestrating timed and coordinated attacks. Owen was valiantly fending off the attacks with a long-handled broom but even he couldn't be everywhere at once.

"Bronx!" the small gargoyle called desperately as one chicken made it past Owen's swinging broom. "Bronx!"

"Gun!" Fox shouted over the flurry of wings and feathers as Bronx arrived and made Owen's self-appointed duty that much harder. "Owen, where's my gun?!"

"I don't know!" Owen shouted back, swatting an attacking goose to the side. Puck had a sunny disposition and was always kind to animals but Owen could be quite violent when said animals were attacking his friends. Even more so when they insisted in launching themselves at his face. "URGH!"

"Have them arrested!" Xanatos shouted at his phone, a finger in the opposite ear to block out the noise. Bronx arrived and the noise became deafening. "I don't care if they aren't breaking any laws, GET THEM OFF MY PROPERTY!"

Angela and Broadway had rescued the doves from Owen's wild swinging which did not differentiate between adorable, love-sick doves and murderous calling birds. Brooklyn had found swatting chickens away from the youngest gargoyle to be a distasteful pursuit and had instead assigned himself to the task of herding the swans, all of which had watched their fellow avian with a mixture of distaste and haughty superiority. Of course the swan weren't exactly pacifistic themselves and, as though to chastise Brooklyn for not getting involved with the dirtier work, were frequently nipping his tail and refusing to budge from their spots.

In the corner, the partridge trilled from it's perch in the ever present pear tree and Xanatos resorted to hysterically threatening the man on the phone whose only fault was informing the billionaire that the city's meter maids seemed to have taken up residence outside his building.

Goliath, Hudson and detective Maza were suspiciously absent from the chaos, but they'd taken Alexander with them to spare the toddler the sight of his mother's mental break down.

"For the love of GOD SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE DAMN BIRDS!"


	9. Chapter 9

_On The Ninth Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me..._

"Now all of New York is going out of control!" David glared over the side of the parapet at the small figures down below, eight of which were most definitely camped out in front of his building. "Something is wrong, Owen. Very very wrong."

"I agree," the usually stoic blond was gripping his stone wrist because clasping his hands and fidgeting his fingers was no longer an option. "I've just been informed that nine women from the HR Department have broken out into spontaneous dance," Xanatos thumped his head against hard stone. "They claim to be unable to stop. I've informed one of our medical teams to sedate them but..."

"But if it's magic they probably won't stop even then," Xanatos finished flatly. "It's like... like someone decided to recreate that Christmas carol and vastly misunderstood all of it."

Beside him, Owen became very _very_ still. Well, he became somehow more stiff and still than usual. Xanatos turned to face him, suddenly concerned.

"Owen?"

"It's as though..." Owen swallowed. "As though a child were trying to recreate what Christmas songs and Christmas books say a perfect Christmas should look like."

The two men shared a look and then started running.

They found Fox first.

Sitting on the floor of the common room, the redhead was wrapping presents in silence and pointedly ignoring the calling bird taking up residence in her hair.

"Fox," David knelt, taking his wife by the shoulders. She did not immediately punch him or dissolve into hysterics so the two men decided she was either silently descending into true insanity or had finally gotten a handle on herself. They were equally likely outcomes. "Fox what have you been reading to Alex to get him to bed?"

She blinked at him, then at Owen who was still gripping his stone wrist - his only sign of concern - and decided that the question was meant to be taken completely candidly.

"I haven't been," she answered steadily. The two men froze.

"What?"

"I wanted time to wrap presents without him seeing, you know that," Fox returned to folding brightly colored paper over a brightly colored boxed toy. "And then I didn't want him to see the... so Angela's been reading to him and Broadway and Bronx have been keeping the animals out of his- David? David!"

Xanatos had leapt to his feet and, with Owen at his side, the darker man had dashed out of the room again. It was no stranger than anything else that had happened that week and so Mrs. Xanatos returned to her gift wrapping, the bird in her hair giving a little trill as she made the edges of the paper nice and neat.

Outside of the nursery the two men found Broadway and Bronx glaring down the flock of geese who were trying, and failing, to look casual as they loitered in the hall.

"Angela," the female looked up from where she was sitting in the rocking chair, Alexander propped up in her lap, teddy bear clutched in his tiny hands. "Angela what have you been reading with Alex?"

She blinked slowly at the two heavily breathing - Xanatos was starting to feel his age and Owen thought it only fair to pretend to feel his own - men and then down at the book in her hands.

"The Corduroy Bear, why?" Angela watched their faces fall and frowned as Xanatos went digging through Alex's little bookshelf. "What's wrong?"

"What about this?" the dark haired man held up another small book with a christmas tree and large number of birds on the cover. "You read this to him earlier? A few days ago?"

"No. Fox told me to save that one for her to read on Christmas," she narrowed her eyes at the two as they looked at each other helplessly.

"Daddy!" the Xanatos heir called happily and made grabby hands at his father. Shoulder's slumped, David picked up his son, cuddling the toddler close.

"I suppose we can't blame you after all," David started, expression softening. He turned to Owen to suggest something else when, outside the door, Broadway let out a roar of outrage as the geese finally launched themselves at his head.


	10. Chapter 10

_On The Tenth Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me..._

"Alright," Owen said decisively. "That's just weird," beside the blond Lexington, Angela, Goliath and Xanatos nodded in agreement.

"How... what..." Xanatos couldn't finish the question, wasn't even sure exactly how to ask it but looked to his right-hand man to explain anyways. Owen, the perfect friend and assistant, rose to the challenge.

"Specters," the blond said with a small movement that might have been a shrug. "Illusions. Like holograms but... more solid."

"Alright then," Xanatos put his hands in his pockets to make up for the lack of action he felt capable of taking.

"But what..." Angela trailed off, looking lost.

"Surely we can..." Goliath started to make a suggestion, realized he didn't have one and trailed off as well.

"How do we get rid of them?" Lexington asked flatly, straight to the point. He'd not enjoyed waking that dusk to this sight. Perhaps even less so than he'd enjoyed waking to the calling birds circling his perch the dusk before.

"That..." Owen started very slowly. "Is an excellent question."

As they watched the eight very solid specters in old english finery - as portrayed in a children's book, anyhow - bounded single file out of the room.

"Hey! You guy's know McBeth is dressed like santa and bounc-" Brooklyn caught himself in the opposite doorway, nearly toppling in the process, and watched the finely dressed men bounce out of the room as though their feet were spring loaded. "I guess that's a yes then."

"McBeth?!" Lexington's small nose wrinkled, his question incredulous. Owen made his small almost-shrug again.

"A lord is a lord is a lord."

Said lord bounced up behind Brooklyn and the red gargoyle was forced to move out of the way to make room the specter to join the line of bouncers.

"Now _that_ is weird," Angela said sounding stunned. Xanatos's phone rang.

"Darling," Fox's voice filtered through the speaker in the saccharine tone that meant David wasn't going to be pleased with whatever she had to say if only because it was making her damn well furious. "Why is my step-father leaping about the parapets like a jack-rabbit on methamphetamines?"

"A lord is a lord is a lord," Xanatos said flatly and hung up which, all things considered, wasn't a brilliant thing to do.


	11. Chapter 11

_On The Eleventh Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me..._

The pipers' renditions of Carol of the Bells, Good ol' King Wenceslas and Comfort and Joy were light, beautifully rendered and most importantly in tune.

They started out as a pleasant surprise until the geese and swans decided to try and drown them out with their own musical attempts. The calling birds, of course, were not to be out done.

"DO SOMETHING," Fox shouted far louder than needed to be heard over the din. David, hands clenched into fists, faced her.

"LIKE WHAT!? ORDER THEM TO LEAVE?" Fox started to answer but her husband cut her off. "OH GEE! WHAT A GREAT IDEA! WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF IT SOONER? _Oh gentlemen! Would you kindly leave the premises and _**take the damn birds with you**_?!"_

"DON'T TAKE THAT TONE WITH ME!"

"I'LL TAKE-" the noise level dropped sharply and they two turned to see Owen standing by the now closed door, giving the pair an unimpressed look.

"Having a bit of a domestic are we?" He asked, eyebrows raised. The couple glanced at each other guiltily and Fox even went so far as to wring her hands. Xanatos cleared his throat and tried not to look like a child being scolded by his nanny.

"Yes Owen?" the blond's eyebrows made no attempt to return to their natural position. "You needed something?"

"I thought you might like to see this sir," the blond's eyebrows finally lowered as he held out a CD case to his employer. David took it with some trepidation. "Track one."

David glanced at the track listing already knowing what he'd see.

"Where did you get this?"

"Next to the CD player in Alexander's room. Angela was given instructions to turn it on to help Alexander get to sleep every night after the story," he didn't say who had given the instructions, nor did he have to. Xanatos rounded on his wife.

"You had her play this for him!?" he waved the CD case wildly in the air and Fox leaned back, looking at the man she'd married like he were some kind of psychopath. "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!"

"I don't know, David, why _would_ I let my two year old listen to The Muppets sing Christmas songs in December?" she shot back hotly. Xanatos went red.

"Ahem," Owen coughed delicately and the pair went back to looking like scolded children. "This is no time for hysterics. I've taken away the CD, now we simply have to-"

A note from one of the pipers went horribly sour and there was a screeching noise that could only be the hens (who'd been rather silent about the whole Swans and Geese VS the musicians thing) and the dancing ladies (who'd migrated up from the office floors about the time the pipers showed up) coming to some sort of disagreement.

"Now," Owen spoke over the noise but did not resort to speaking in all caps "we must simply convince Alexander that this is not as much fun as the song implies."

With Fox stubbornly, but silently, refusing to apologize for her choice in Christmas music, the two men faced the battlefield that was the hallway with only each other for support.

They made it to the stairway relatively unscathed but when David dodged out of the way of a low flying swan he ran nose first into something large, solid and wood.

"OW!" He stopped, hand trying to stem the blood gushing from his not broken but rather bruised nose and stared in awe at the six foot high tree sitting next to his stairwell. Peaking out from a low branch a small brown bird trilled at him. "Is that-?"

"The partridge in a pear tree, yes," Owen had a sixth sense about possibly embarrassing situations and had dodged in the other direction, sparing himself a pair of broken glasses.

"But how?" it had only been up to his hip, maybe not even that, when it had first appeared in the great hall.

"It's been growing steadily since it arrived, haven't you noticed?" Xanatos shook his head. "It also appears to be moving about on it's own but not teleporting. At least not when anyone can see. And the birds are all original despite the fact that we know Fox and Lexington have brutally murdered a number of them," the blond placed a reverent hand on the tree's narrow, but much bigger than before, trunk. "Alexander's control is quite remarkable for his age, don't you agree sir?"

"We can coo over his ability later," Xanatos groused. His bad mood was understandable all things considered.

Eventually though, it became clear that getting Alexander to stop just wasn't going to happen.

"Now look kid," Puck said reasonably as the two year old rode around on the back of a swan that shouldn't have been able to take his weight so comfortably. "I know this seems pretty amazing - and frankly you'd be right..."

"PUCK!" the choir of gargoyle and human voices scolded. The trickster rolled his eyes.

"-but your little birdies are giving mommy an apoplectic fit, hun."

"Appoppoplekic!" the toddler cheered.

"Something like that yeah. It's just... Daddy and mommy-"

"Daddy!" Xanatos suddenly found himself five feet from where he'd been standing.

"Yes, him," Puck agreed patiently and sent Xanatos back to his spot. Feeling motion sick and dizzy, the dark man bent over, resting his hands on his knees. Over their fight and feeling kind, Fox rubbed his back. "Daddy and mommy and Lexy" the gargoyle snorted at the name but Lexington was still a little advanced for the quarter fae "don't like the loud birdies and the dancing ladies. So we need to send them away now, ok?"

Alexander made his swan do a barrel-roll in the air, the swan squawking indignantly but otherwise unharmed, and didn't answer.

"Right! So how bout I just..." Puck wiggled his fingers and the noise of swans, pipers, jumping men, dancing women, screaming birds, chickens, geese and one good sized tree refusing to fall over despite Bronx's best attempts all went silent as the swan carrying Alexander on its back became a very large teddy bear with angel wings.

Alexander stopped, looked around, and cried.

"Now now, it's not that bad," Puck tried to sooth as Fox reached out from below.

"Come on sweety, you can play-" a flash of lightning and the clap of thunder cut her off. "PUCK!"

"That wasn't me!" the trickster snapped. "I told you that the terrible twos were going to be hell!"

"Watch your language!"

Another clap of thunder and the castle shook.

"David do something!" Fox snapped as another roar of thunder toppled everyone to the floor.

"Like what?!"

"I don't know; he's _your_ son!"

"You know sometimes I wonder!"

"Is this really the time?" Angela asked shortly as a torrent of rain started up right outside the window. The couple turned on her.

"STAY OUT OF IT!"

"CHILDREN!" If Owen had been capable of snapping impatiently at people it would have been his tone that the Puck was using. The group silenced and even Alexander paused in his wailing to hiccup in surprise. "Do you mind?! I am working here! Alexander Xanatos!" Puck rounded on the two year old who'd started crying again. "This is not princely behavior! When a child of Avalon wants something they do not hang about screaming about it! They make it happen!"

"Puck, no!" Lexington warned a second too late.

The weeping stopped. The thunder died.

The room was filled with birds and bounding lords and pipers and spinning ladies who were asleep from exhaustion even though their feet kept moving beneath them.

"Oh," Puck said sadly from where he was hanging the air as David and Fox tried to direct the traffic jam of specters and animals out of the room. "Oops."


	12. Chapter 12

_On The Twelfth Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me..._

At one am it was only technically the twenty-fifth but the drummers had arrived and no one was getting any sleep one way or another so the Xanatos' and Owen joined the clan on the roof to look over the city.

"It's beautiful," Angela said softly as snow flakes sprinkled the court yard and a fire engine drove by. Everyone was pretty sure that was Alexander's doing but none of them wanted to draw attention to it. The two year old had collected enough of the cold stuff to start a very small snowman. Or a fort. It was hard to tell with his still under developed coordination skills. "And so quiet."

"I guess even criminals take today off," Broadway commented, arms around the smaller female. Goliath was, naturally, absent otherwise he wouldn't have taken the liberty. Thank God for detective Maza. Xanatos sighed from his similar position of being wrapped around Fox.

"Will they have a parade, like for Thanksgiving?" the last Christmas had involved a horrible Grinch Stealing Christmas type plan from Demona of all people so Angela was still fairly new to the traditions.

"No," Owen was leaned against a parapet with Lexington, the two facing away from the city and watching Alexander with a hawk's eye. "There usually isn't one, especially not after the fire four years ago."

It hadn't been one of David's finer moments, admittedly, but he hadn't set the float on fire with his after burners on purpose.

"It's a shame, isn't it?" Fox asked quietly after a moment. "Especially since we have the makings of a real show stopper right here in our own living- Mmmmmph!" in the blink of an eye David had turned her around and pulled her into a hard kiss. When he finally let go his eyes were half feverish, half insane and Fox looked at him with a great deal of worry. "Did Alexander make a sprig of misletoe grow out of my head?" she asked hopefully. Broadway, Angela, Owen and Lex shook their heads slowly and stared.

"My dear you are brilliant!" the dark man said, sounding more than just half mad.

"...yay?" his wife asked carefully. He released her suddenly enough that, were it not for ninja training, she'd have toppled off the building.

"Owen!" Xanatos bent and plucked his son off the ground, grinning. "I think it's time we had a visit from uncle Puck!" Owen removed his glasses but didn't tuck them away, only staring with his eyebrows in his hair line. "I think it's time our boy learned the finer points of parade making."

"David," Fox said reverently shortly after the sun fell on the twenty-fifth as the Xanatos and Manhattan clans gathered in the living room to share gifts and stare in awe at the television. "You are a genius."

The redhead folded herself into what space there was left in David's chair and kissed him on the nose, grinning the dark haired man wrapped an arm around her.

"And you my muse," he said magnanimously. On the floor in front of them Owen and Lexington were helping Alexander shred the paper off his presents - the paper tearing being the most exciting part of the whole thing for the quarter fae. A short ways away, on the couch, Elisa and Goliath had already exchanged their small gifts. Broadway and Angela were cuddling - more conservatively with Goliath present - and watching the tv with Brooklyn while Hudson prepared to make the trip to Robbins' for a late Christmas dinner.

On the television a harassed looking reporter stood on the sidewalk beside Main Street and tried to make himself heard over the sound of pips and drums playing an exciting rendition of Jingle Bells. Behind him a line of festively dressed characters danced down the street.

"Really David," Fox said admiringly twelve drummers lead the way past the sad looking reporter. "This year, you actually saved Christmas and for that..." she smiled a secretive little smile and bowed her head to whisper in his ear. "... I've got a special present for you later."

David tried not to show how thrilled he was by that prospect if only to save the others from some embarrassment. Luckily they were all busy staring at the television. Even Alex was transfixed.

Gaily dressed pipers swayed down the street behind the drummers. The pipers were immediately followed by McBeth, Oberon, Henry the eighth and a number of other historical figures dressed as Santa Clause and 17th century stereotypes wildly leaping about like their feet were spring loaded. And behind the Lords danced the nine ladies, now awake and smiling for the cameras and dressed in charming little elf outfits. The milking Meter-maids in their uniforms and carrying milk dripping meters that had been uprooted from around the outside of the Eyrie Building waved but couldn't bring themselves to smile.

The angry swans were angrier still, wearing small harnesses as they waddled with their long necks bent low and those harnesses connected them to annoyed geese wearing still more small harnesses. Above and behind the geese flew the calling birds, trilling beautifully (probably) but unheard over the noise of the hens harnessed to the geese and loudly protesting the treatment.

Behind the hens, attached to the harnesses, was a cart and on the cart sat a pot and in the pot was a brilliant green leaved tree.

And at the top of the beautiful tree sat a partridge, basking in his own little glory.

"But where did the doves go?" Angela asked quietly. Fox winked at her husband and nodded to Broadway who, blushing as much as a gargoyle with his coloring could and pulled a large lacquered bamboo bird cage from behind the couch. "Oh!"

"Fox said since we all liked them so much..." Angela turned bright hopeful eyes to the redhead who shrugged with a smile. "Well here they are."

"Thank you!" In the small lacquered cage the two turtle-dove cooed and on the tv the partridge preened.

An hour before Alexander's bedtime, the gargoyles and their human clan member had left to spend what was left of Christmas with the Labyrinth Clan and Xanatos had taken his wife to... ahem, unwrap the last of the night's presents.

Puck grinned down at his small charge who grinned back.

"Just between you and me pip squeek I thought this was _hilarious_. Now next year I think maybe we should have you watch the Rudolph Christmas special."


End file.
